The Angry Web Designer

On a recent edition of the Bill Maher show, he had a guest that was rather unusual; the eldest daughter of Sen. John McCain, Meghan McCain. A recent college graduate, who makes a point of mentioning that she’s ‘only 24′ at least 2 times per interview, who has hit the media in a rather tragic way. I’m not 100% certain as to why she is on a quest to hit every major political show; I’m guessing she was a Marketing or PR major in college, or perhaps she doesn’t know why (she is only 24 after all).

During the guest appearance, her nerves apparently got the best of her (or perhaps she wasn’t completely ‘herself’). Guessing by her defensive stance throughout the entire segment, she might have realized that the people she was speaking with wouldn’t put up with her ‘I’m only 24′ bullshit - and they didn’t.

So why the bashing on my part? It’s part shock and part shame. If you read the comments on YouTube related to the video below, the static-to-noise ratio is absurd. Perhaps I don’t read enough comments on YouTube to realize that this is normal? My question is; are Americans really this oblivious and, well, stupid?

Even more tragic, there was a post by a user which states;
Is amazing. The government runs a budget deficit bigger than french, spanish or italian GDP, they are going to rob people´s wealth and savings through inflation again, and the dollar could well collapse in a few years… But the most important issues are Miss California, gay marriage, “moderates” and “extremists” (i guess Reagan was VERY moderate xD) and how the Republicans are destroying themselves. Maybe the Democrats will destroy the nation first. I admire you americans!!

Not one person responded to these issues - not one.

It is disheartening to think about what is really on the minds of Americans today. Whether it be religious views about the way one should [or should not] live their lives or the issue of whether McCain is a really a Liberal trying to please her daddy.

We have 20% of American out of work. We have a deficit in the trillions; and just so you know, that’s over ten digits. If you make 100,000 a year, you would have to work TEN THOUSAND YEARS to equal 1,000,000,000,000! To add to that, the ‘most powerful nation in the world’ is placed 37th in the world for human care, with over 45 million people in the nation who do not have any means to cover health care costs. All the while, we’re #1 for health care spending. Is anyone asking where all that money is going? No, the American public is too busy buzzing about a young Republican who is on the ‘on the chubby side, but still doable’.

In Iran currently, people are rising into the streets to fight against an unjust government. While the country that is known for free speech is constantly imprisoning those those who do not meet the social norm - if your not Christian, if you’re not heterosexual, if you do not play the capitalism game - then you’re SOL. A recent death of abortion doctor is a prime example of how our country is overrun with people who choose to impose their own personal beliefs on others. A gay college student being stoned to death. Everyday-people being led to believe that they must ‘work hard to get ahead’, only to be left without any means to provide for their families after a company chooses to reduce operating expenses while offering their CEO a big fat bonus check for the idea to ship jobs oversees. Even the noble notion of giving citizenship to illegal immigrants is rooted in capitalistic profiteering; more cheap labor and the eliminated risk of being fined for hiring illegal immigrants - and who has to pay the fees that the companies would normally pay? Well, the economically disadvantaged immigrant of course!

It is a capitalistic magic show. As long as the public is paying attention to matters that have absolutely no real bearing as to how they live their lives, corporations and the governing bodies which enforce laws and regulations will continue to bend us over and offer to ‘help us’. Just how they helped the inner cities and veterans in the 70s, just how they helped senior citizens with medicare reforms and just like how they’re going to help us with medical insurance.

As long as Americans allow themselves to be used and manipulated to believe that basic and intrinsic HUMAN RIGHTS are somehow not supposed to be granted and readily available to everyone - as long as these things are going to be label as communism and socialism by the same people whom would stand to lose money if these things where enforced - as long as we smile and bend over so we can take it up the bonnet, well - we’re fucked. And, by the way Americans are so distracted with everything else that does not matter, we’ll be fucked for a long time to come.

How on earth did the citizens of the US become so ignorant? We question nothing. People who are quite obviously poor do not even know that they are poor.

Absolutely tragic.

So, to the young McCain; if you really want to make a difference in the GOP, learn economics. Fiscal conservancy used to be the pillar of the Republican party (that was the only reason I used to be a Republican). If you really want to make a difference for liberal rights, start asking questions and make people think! Yes, it’s dangerous to have an intelligent public, but that is part of “liberal rights”, allowing people to think for themselves. And, as a wise old woman told me at the age of 24; if you want to play with the big girls, it’s time to put your ‘big girl panties on’.

Every once in awhile I’ll scan the CraigsList board to see if there are any interesting web design contracts or jobs; and lately, it’s been looking rather bleak. What’s more annoying however, is the fact that some of these job posts list ridiculous pay for highly skilled positions. I suppose people could be happy that jobs are even available - but reducing someone’s normal salary by a third (or even by a quarter) is absolutely ridiculous.

Some of my favorite CraigsList failed ads for web design positions;

1. ASP/VB 6 Programmer - $14-$16 an hour
2. “Web Designer needed A.S.A.P!!” - $12 an hour
3. “Entry level Web Design Position” - $10 an hour
4. “PHP web assistants(s) needed” - $10 to $15 an hour
5. “Graphics Specialist (Mid) $18/hr ” and “Graphics Specialist (Junior) $15″
6. “Joomla Expect to Redesign / Add / Mod!” - $10 an hour
7. “Technical Support Tier I Representative” - $11 to $13 an hour

The really funny thing is, these ads expect skills such as;

• HTML / CSS
• LAMP (linux, apache, mySql and php)
• VB
• JavaScript / AJAX
• CAD
• GIS
• Flash
• SEO / PPC

WTF?? A person who has only 3 of those skills should earn at LEAST $20 an hour - and that’s modest.

I suppose this is the reason the web is so darn ugly - you get what you pay for!

Almost a year to the date I was hired with [insert really dumb company here], I have been laid off. No surprise really, the company hasn’t sold a single product or service since I started working for them.

I was hired on as a “Web Designer” - which meant in addition to graphics and layouts, I had to implement the designs as well.

Having been a consultant for several years, web design was my forte - with a sprinkle of SEO, Brand and Identity Design, custom development and the good o’ll Flash stuff. It’s terribly difficult to come into a company with this type of background if everyone around you is a moron. Seriously - POSH, CSS, Semantic, Organic, PPC, Progressive Enhancement, Insert Buzz Word for Industry Related Expectations - ignorant.

Back to the “Web Design” … I was placed under the V.P. of Marketing (who had no idea what the difference between Organic and PPC / Paid was), and was expected to do as I was told. Since the previously “Web Designer” was actually a “Graphic Artist” who knew some CSS and HTML, I was expected to fit the same mold … which meant the developers wouldn’t let me touch any code and I was confined to the recesses of the business side of the office. Rather unexpectedly, I was not permitted to use any industry tricks for “Web Design” - no stock vector art, no stock PERIOD, everything was to be custom made and everything took a LONG TIME.

Mistake #1 - Not allowing the employee to do their job the best way they know how (which might be smarter, faster, more cost effective than your way).

I was told by the Ass Hole of Marketing that “stock is too generic - you see it everywhere. I want us to be unique and you have to create everything by scratch”. Okay … maybe he didn’t say that last part just like that - but that’s what he meant.

I spent over of 25 days on a flash movie that was scrapped (although this might seem like a short time, I have put together entire flash sites in less time). I spent 5 months on a project that was rendered completely useless because the technology spec’s were given by a person who had no technology background (although he swears to this day that he has worked in “technology” for over 10 years) - and yes, I did give the pro’s and con’s for each desicion that needed to be made - I’m not an asshole. All-in-all, I would say about half of my time with that company was absolutely wasted on meetings and frivolous, death-by-committee, opinions on my work (which, ironically - all changes would slowly progress back to my original designs). After a few months, I was no longer a “Web Designer” and had officially become a “Web Developer”. While I thought I was moved to the development team because the Jask Ass of Marketing was a bad manager- as it turned out, he just wanted to hire a new “Graphic Artist” who would let him dictate design to. The new guy was a sweet guy - but a HORRIBLE, WHINNY bitch when it came to creating user interfaces.

Mistake #2 - Don’t hire a butcher to work as a chef.

The next few months are filled with code clean-up. Converting table based layouts into POSH markup with compliant CSS, conditional CSS for legacy IE support (haha), implementing new technologies when possible and always battling for the last word when it came to UI. At the end of the day, I won … I won so fucking hard that the company won too - it was a sweet deal.

So, I’m happy in my little development land - sort of. I had to convince the developers around me that HTML was, in fact, a REAL programming language. And, if you use it badly your website will suffer. Since all the software they had developed in the past was not web facing (exposed to search engines, blind people, etc.), they never placed any significance on proper coding techniques. After weeks of great search rankings, easy deployments with care-free custom designs (minus the graphic artist who didn’t understand why I needed png files that were less than 400kb), I earned the trust and respect of those around me as the “Web Guru”. Even the CEO marveled in the organic search results our website was achieving.

Unfortunately, by the time my work was completed enough - the gig was up. When the bosses finally figured out what I meant by using a template engine, using proper coding techniques, applying broad simple styles for re-usability, they “ran out of funding” to support my paycheck … whooo hooo. Ironically - the same people that implemented the table based layouts, poor CSS, improper “code branding” and piss poor UI are still running the company. Oh, and the Dumb Ass Marketing VP … he’s still there too.

So at the end of this shitty day, I realized that even though I lost my job - I wasn’t the one who burned through millions of VC funding with nothing to show for it. I didn’t layoff people just to save my own ass. I tried my best to tell these ignorant bozo’s what was up - but they were too set in their ways … and too far-gone into their piss-poor business model - I hope it all works out for them in the end, I still own stock :\

So what were all the mistakes? Here we go;

1. Having no idea what technologies where best to get the job done

2. Having no experience in web related services or businesses

3. Having no knowledge of online PR campaigns and how to assert damage control for negative PR

4. No senior level (C-level) officers having ever successfully run a web-related business (ISP’s don’t count as “web related”)

5. Not knowing when to scrap a project and start from scratch

6. Leveraging old technologies and expecting them to perform at new technology levels

7. No standard software development experience by senior architects or employees (at least, not listening to employees who have)

8. Not listening to employees concerns (development cycles, product offerings, marketing, etc.)

9. Hiring cheep and expect expecting rock-star performance

10. Running a software company with twice as many business personnel than development personnel … DUH!!!

So, it may sound like I’m bitter - and yes, I’m very fucking bitter. I gave up weekends, evenings, sleep and personal projects for this bullshit. I put my faith in these jerks (yes, I even put my faith in the Retarded Marketing VP) and they let me down. I’m now unemployed in the worse economic environment since … whatever … yes - I’m pretty fucking bitter.

At the end of the day though, I have something to bitch about - so it’s not all that bad. At least that’s what I try to tell myself.

p.s. I don’t hate Marketing Professionals. I am in awe of the good ones … the rest should just crawl in a hole with attorneys and die a slow death.